Why am I so jealous?

Proverbs 23:17 (NIV) Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the LORD.

Because of the trials and affliction I have had to walk through in the past 10 years, I have found myself constantly dealing with the sin of jealously and envy. I look at people and their families, and what they have and I think, wow they are blessed! I wish I had that, I wish I could do that. 

What a vicious horrible snare to be entrapped in. Incredibly consumed with “self” rather than Thanksgiving and Praise for the one who gave me this life. Romans 11:36 says, “For from Him and through Him and for Him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen. “When the Lord shows me these sins in my heart, I know that I need to be quick to repent. In order to really repent I need to turn from my ways. Even though I repent, I still find myself desiring other people’s lives! How sad is that? 

The one thing I know that the Lord revealed to me is that what I see on the outside is not necessarily what is going on, on the inside. A lot of times, the people that look the happiest and fulfilled are the saddest people. The people that look like they have everything on the outside might be struggling with massive debt or depression. Who knows? 

One thing I know is that I need to be God focused, not “me” focused. I need to stay in continual gratitude for the Life, God especially chose for me. I need to be constantly renewing my mind in this area. The best way to do that is to soak in the Word of God. Let it be absorbed into my very being. Become one with it as Christ is being formed in us. “My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you,” Galatians 4:19. 

God is so good. You do not to place your mind on your broken past mistakes. You just need to look up and place your eyes on the one who died for them.

God Bless...