Wednesday, July 4, 2012

David asked, Why oh soul are you downcast.. Ps 42

With the impending divorce & separation. Assuredly upcoming court dates with no finances coming in right now and bills looming. The trip to Ohio in two weeks for Greg's conference. House still needing be done and remaining in a consistent pursuit of work after being a housewife for many years. My soul became downcast today. I felt an extreme sense of sadness and loneliness throughout the day and eventually I broke. 
I slammed a door and I became ever increasingly violent with the ritual of slicing the 4th of July watermelon. 

David and in all his wonder, devotion to God and tenderness of heart cried out, 
Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him
For the help of His countenance.
 In the New Living Translation it says...
Why am I discouraged?
Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
I will praise him again
my Savior and my God! 

I think I cried for a good 3 hours after the incident until it dawned on me. I had began to put my hope in people, in my circumstances and in the future again. Yes, I said it, "Again". I needed to ask God to forgive me and to please restore the peace I am so often, graciously granted from Him. I feel like an alien, completely out of sorts when I am not walking in that Peace. 

I am not talking about the peace that comes from everyone being kind to me or the peace that comes from the bills being paid, nor the peace that comes from the children being so lovely and obedient. I am speaking of the peace in Philippians 4:7 that passes all human understanding, the peace that can't not be manufactured or created by circumstances. The immovable, unshakable peace that takes residence in every fiber of your being. The peace that passes all understanding, that guards your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. 

In order to remain in that peace, I needed to take my Hope and place it back in the one who never fails me. The one who loves me when I act ugly and when I act beautiful. The one who cares so deeply for me that He gave His life for me. 

And now, Lord, what do I wait for and expect? 
My hope and expectation are in You. Psalm 39: 7
May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing [through the experience of your faith] that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope. Romans 15: 13
Happy (blessed, fortunate, enviable) is he who has the God of [special revelation to] Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God. Psalm 146: 5

Be inspired today to place your Hope in the Lord.


  1. I'm so sorry for all you are going through. I've been through some of it, so I can share the comfort God gave me. He is with you and will bring you through, BUT you will have moments like these. We are weak but He is strong. It is these times when we feel at the end of our strength that we come closer to God. He is at the end of us and he is enough (and then some)! I'll be praying.

  2. Amen Diane.. Thank you and I totally agree:) God Bless.

  3. Sounds like you have your focus in the right place, in spite of your struggles. It isn't always easy to truly rest in knowing that God is in control. I struggle with that at times too. Romans 15:13 is one of my favorite scriptures!

    Hang in there.

  4. Good place, good place. Blessed be the Name of the Lord. Hard YES, worth it YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keep looking up and out.

  5. We both are growing together through these times....I just want to be better for HIM and for you and the kids.....I LOVE YOU BABY GIRL!!!


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